Someone else has a sense of humor about the dog sniff cases

http://abovethelaw.com/2012/10/dog-day-at-the-supreme-court/#more-203010

And we continue with the "you can't make this stuff up" files

http://www.kansascity.com/2012/10/18/v-print/3872420/lawsuit-employee-rift-led-to-kc.html


PS - if you're on the jury: what is the extent of the damages? on what theory?

From the "you can't make this stuff up" files:

Several court and legal related programs were criticized this week in one Republican senator's annual "Wastebook," which chronicles the top 100 projects that voters might consider a waste of tax dollars. Senator Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) singled out a Michigan program that was literally "flushing down taxpayer dollars," when Michigan used $10,000 from the Department of Transportation for 400 talking urinal cakes to fight drunk driving, the report said.

For the male Michiganders, one of the messages, read by a female voice, says: "Listen up. That’s right! I'm talking to you. Had a few drinks? Maybe a few too many? Then do yourself and everyone else a favor. Call a sober friend or a cab. Oh, and don't forget. Wash your hands."

And you still wonder why I make fun of Florida . . .

http://news.yahoo.com/man-dies-live-roach-eating-contest-fla-215822212.html

Palsgraf will live forever . . .

http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/09/28/TraynomDismiss_12.pdf

New tool for comparing law schools

http://www.nerdwallet.com/education/compareschools/law/

Once again, everything counts . . .

See, they really ARE arguing about font size!

http://www.law.com/jsp/nlj/PubArticleNLJ.jsp?id=1202570758746&In_voter_ID_case_how_big_is_the_letter_of_the_law

The only reason I don't grade like this is I don't know if top or bottom is "A"

http://www.concurringopinions.com/archives/2006/12/a_guide_to_grad.html

Where do I begin????

http://cdn.abovethelaw.com/uploads/2012/09/Smoot-response.pdf

Touche!

http://www.tnr.com/article/magazine/books-and-arts/106441/scalia-garner-reading-the-law-textual-originalism?page=0,0

Can't wait to see the actual documents

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/lindsay-lohan-lawyers-plagiarized-lawsuit-documents-pit-bull-people-article-1.1137162

The facts are fun, but what do you think of the actual issue pleading in the 3 counts?

http://www.scribd.com/doc/102847205/Peters-v-Easter-Complaint

See, I wasn't kidding: grammar matters

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/07/i_wont_hire_people_who_use_poo.html

For those of you who laugh when I question your FB pics:

http://abovethelaw.com/2012/07/so-you-want-to-be-a-supreme-court-justice-dont-sniff-glue/#more-176665

And for today's exercise in New York sections 50 and 51 . . .

http://www.scribd.com/doc/99811215/Edme-v-Internet-Brands-et-al-Complaint

When, o when, will drafting for pr die??

The judge's sensible order in the Lance Armstrong suit:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/packages/pdf/sports/20120709armstrongsuit/Armstrong_order.pdf

and the suit from Scribd (Play find the factual basis for a cause of action in it!) :

http://www.scribd.com/doc/99603350/Armstrong-v-USADA-Complaint

For those of you who know I teach Hemingway in Arts and Hum classes:

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT

MIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDA

TAMPA DIVISION

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

  CASE NO.: 8:11-cr-269-T-23AEP

v.

CRISTIE FAY BOTTORFF
JERRY ALAN BOTTORFF
LUIS ANGEL LOPEZ
                                                                     /

ORDER

     Jerry Alan Bottorff stands accused of murder-for-hire, conspiracy to commit murder-for-hire, and a firearm offense.  For four months the parties have known with particularity when the trial begins – July 9, 2012; the parties requested the special setting.  Nonetheless, Bottorff’s counsel asks (Doc. 127) to suspend the trial on Friday, July 20th:
   
          Undersigned counsel, a perennial contestant in the Ernest Hemingway
          Look-alike Contest, is scheduled to appear as a semi-finalist at Sloppy
          Joe’s Bar in Key West, Florida at 6:30 P.M. on Friday, July 20, 2012.

          In order to be able to be in Key West at the appointed hour, undersigned
          counsel has planned to depart St. Petersburg after the trial recesses on
          Thursday, July 19, 2012, and drive toward Key West[,] arriving on
          July 20, 2012.

          Undersigned counsel has secured a block of six rooms to accommodate
          family, friends, and fans and has had to pay non-refundable deposits.

     Between a murder-for-hire trial and an annual look-alike contest, surely Hemingway, a perfervid admirer of “grace under pressure,” would choose the trial. At his most robust, Hemingway exemplified the intrepid defense lawyer:


          He works like hell, and through it. . . .  He has the most profound
          bravery. . . . He has had pain[] and the kind of poverty that you don’t
          believe[;] he has had about eight times the normal allotment of
          responsibilities.  And he has never once compromised.  He has never
          turned off on an easier path than the one he staked himself.  It takes courage.
Dorothy Parker, The Artist’s Reward, THE NEW YORKER, Nov. 30, 1929, at 28-30 (describing
Hemingway).  Perhaps a lawyer who evokes Hemingway can resist relaxing frolic in favor
of solemn duty.
     Or, at least, “Isn’t it pretty to think so?”
     Best of luck to counsel in next year’s contest.  The motion (Doc. 127) is DENIED.

Anyone see a problem here?

http://media.al.com/bn/other/holloway%20lawsuit.pdf

School still matters

duh!

http://www.tmz.com/2012/06/18/hangover-2-warner-brother-louis-vuitton/


http://www.nysd.uscourts.gov/cases/show.php?db=special&id=189

Doesn't it seem that . . .

if you are going to be involved in internet demands, you should at least understand how the internet works?

http://gawker.com/5918116/funnyjunks-lawyer-surprised-by-internets-negative-response-to-his-legal-threats-wants-to-pull-plug-on-oatmeals-charity-fundraiser

Shouldn't more judges be like this?

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/breakfast-club-closed-manhattan-lawyer-sues-posh-spa-yanking-morning-cereal-yogurt-ends-egg-face-article-1.1083484

Would this frighten you?

http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_documents/0516_tebow_letter-TMZ.pdf

Remember when I told you spell-check does not work on all caps?

and that's not the worst part: check out the third cause of action!

http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_documents/0507_travolta.pdf

I know you think I might be a tad old fashioned

(and it IS Florida), but does this not offend you?

http://gzlegalcase.com/index.php/8-press-releases/7-why-social-media-for-george-zimmerman

Where Do These People Go to Law School #1053?

Demand Letter:
http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_documents/0417_3stooges_parody_TMZ.pdf

The case the letter cites:
http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=6376074772628774470&hl=en&as_sdt=2&as_vis=1&oi=scholarr

(See how the cited case has nothing to do with the demand letter?)


Another, and perhaps even worse, demand letter:
http://gawker.com/inside-fox-news/

How Recruiters See Your Resume

http://www.businessinsider.com/heres-what-recruiters-look-at-during-the-6-seconds-they-spend-on-your-resume-2012-4

Everything Counts

http://www.law.com/jsp/nlj/PubArticleNLJ.jsp?id=1202548534236&Aspiring_Louisiana_lawyer_rejected_for_fourth_time&slreturn=1

Be Civil....Or Else

http://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/be_nice_more_states_are_treating_incivility_as_a_possible_ethics_violation

"Stop the B.S."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/advocates-of-the-plain-writing-act-prod-federal-agencies-to-keep-it-simple/2012/04/08/gIQAlTCe4S_story_1.html

Is This Not Commercial Appropriation?

Woman Sues Vodka Company for Using Likeness in 'Rape' Ad

LOS ANGELES (KTLA) -- A vodka company is apologizing for a controversial ad that appears to show a woman about to be date-raped.

But the apology is not enough for the woman pictured in the ad. She's suing Belvedere Vodka for negligent infliction of emotional distress, and misappropriation of likeness.

Alicyn Packard is a vocal actress living in Los Angeles whose likeness was used in the Belvedere ad.
The ad seems to show her fighting off the advances of a would-be suitor, with the ad line superimposed: Unlike Some People, Belvedere Always Goes Down Smoothly.

Packard never gave her permission for her likeness to be used.

In fact, the image of her was stolen from a comic on-line video by her production company, Strictly Viral Productions.

"The repercussions have been huge," Packard told KTLA in a phone interview. "It's been a really terrible experience. The whole thing."

Belvedere has apologized for the ad. The president of the company has been quoted as saying about the ad, "It never should have happened."

But Packard said the company has not apologized to her -- and even if it did, that would hardly be adequate.

"To be affiliated with an ad that's so offensive to so many has just been horrible," Packard said. "I just want to distance myself from the ad as much as possible."

http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-woman-sues-vodka-ad,0,179639.story?hpt=ju_bn6

Duh!

http://cache.abovethelaw.com/uploads/2012/03/NYLS-Class-Action-Dismissal-Order.pdf

That's One Hell of a Way to Make a Rhetorical Point

Judge Pulls Gun In Courtroom: David Barrett Under Investigation In North Georgia

Huffington Post

02/28/2012

Andy Campbell

Some judges pack a gavel -- this judge was packing heat.

A Georgia judge is under fire after he allegedly pulled his pistol in a courtroom in an apparent attempt to drive a point home to a sexual assault victim.

Lumpkin County Superior Court Judge David Barrett wasn't angry, but making "a poor rhetorical point" when he flashed the piece this week, District Attorney Jeff Langley told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Barrett was presiding over a sexual assault case in which a woman brought charges of rape and aggravated assault against Scott Sugarman, a former Hall County sheriff's deputy.

But when the victim took the stand to testify, Barrett told her that she was "killing her case" -- allegedly because she wasn't cooperating -- pulled out his gat and pretended to hand it her way.

"[Barrett said] 'You might as well shoot your lawyer,'" Langley told the paper.

The woman -- whose name is being withheld because she may be the victim of a sexual crime -- wasn't shocked and "thought it was a test" by Barrett to gauge her reaction. Langley claims that he objected and approached the bench to tell Barrett to put the gun down.

Now Barrett is under investigation by the state Judicial Qualifications Commission, which probes judge misconduct, the Associated Press reported. Georgia law allows judges to carry concealed handguns in the courtroom, but it's a crime to point a gun at another person if there's no reason to do so.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/28/judge-pulls-gun-in-courtroom-georgia_n_1306758.html?ref=weird-news

This Is Why I Don't Practice Law Anymore

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/gloria-allred-accidentally-reveals-her-380-person-press-033648482.html

How to Flunk Brecher's Class

Turn this in...

http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_documents/0223_bieber.PDF

Doonesbury Came to Brecher's Class

Travel Channel Wins Lawsuit Over Filming at Racy Hot Dog Stand

The plaintiff showed up at a Chicago's Wiener's Circle and endured the foul-mouthed insults of staff, but did she have to accept reality TV cameras filming the abuse? A judge says yes.

A federal judge in Illinois has rejected a $1 billion (yes, $1 billion) class action lawsuit alleging the Travel Channel violated the publicity rights of individuals shown at a popular Chicago hot dog restaurant. The plaintiffs claimed that the the show, Extreme Fast Food, never obtained consent to show the Wiener's Circle customers on the receiving end of insults, but the judge has determined that the plaintiffs' lawsuit wasn't garnished with enough mustard to overcome the taste of the First Amendment.

Zglobicki showed up at the restaurant and endured the racy insults, but did she have to accept the reality TV cameras from the Travel Channel and the show's producer, Sharp Entertainment, filming the abuse? She didn't think so, asserting a claim under Illinois' Right of Publicity Act.The lawsuit was filed last August by an Illinois resident named Jennifer Zglobicki on behalf of herself and others similarly situated. She alleged that she was filmed at Wiener's Circle, which, according to one travel book, is "famous not just for its hot dogs but also for the abrasive nature of the staff who are, shall we say, not the sort of people you would take home for tea."

PHOTOS: 18 Outrageous Entertainment Lawsuits

In his decision earlier this month, U.S. District Court Judge Charles Norgle says that although the IRPA provides the "right to control and choose whether and how to use an individual's identity for commercial purposes," it provides no such protection for non-commercial purposes, such as any news or public affairs broadcast.

Judge Norgle says that despite the woman's arguments that her image was "incidental" to the gathering and distribution of footage, a television show that features a Chicago restaurant nevertheless is a "subject of general interest and of value and concern to the public."

As such, the plaintiffs' claims are precluded by First Amendment rights of the Travel Channel, which was represented by Blaine Kimrey at Lathrop & Gage.

The judge ends his opinion with a wise word of caution to everyone out there who might find themselves part of a reality TV show spectacle. To live life is to expose oneself. "The risk of this exposure is an essential incident of life in a society which places a primary value of freedom of speech and of press," he writes.

E-mail: eriqgardner@yahoo.com

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr-esq/travel-channel-lawsuit-wieners-circle-chicago-292790

Toddlers & Tiaras

http://cache.abovethelaw.com/uploads/2012/01/Summons-Complaint.pdf

When Your Smart Phone Makes You Look Dumb

http://legaltimes.typepad.com/files/habibion_motion.pdf

Court Sanctions Lawyers Behind September 11 Conspiracy Case

By Terry Baynes
Feb 2, 2012

(Reuters) - A federal appeals court sanctioned two California lawyers on Thursday over a lawsuit they filed, dismissed as frivolous, that accused former officials in the Bush administration of allowing the September 11 Pentagon attack to occur as part of a broad conspiracy.

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit ordered the two lawyers to pay $15,000 total in sanctions in addition to double an unspecified amount the government spent defending the case.

Three attorneys -- Dennis Cunningham, William Veale and Mustapha Ndanusa -- filed the lawsuit in 2008 on behalf of April Gallop, a member of the U.S. Army injured in the Pentagon attack on September 11, 2001.

The lawyers accused then-Vice President Dick Cheney and then-Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld of allowing the Pentagon attack to occur through inaction, despite having what the suit described as real-time information that a hijacked plane was approaching.

The suit, which also questioned the nature of the attacks, said the inaction rose to the level of conspiracy to create a political atmosphere that would allow the U.S. government to pursue domestic and international policy objectives.

The suit accused the men and others of conspiracy to cause death and bodily harm and a violation of the Antiterrorism Act.

The September 11 attacks, carried out by 19 hijackers from the global militant network al Qaeda, led U.S. forces to invade Afghanistan to topple the Taliban rulers who had harbored al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.

That war served as a precursor to the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq that toppled Saddam Hussein in 2003, which the administration chiefly justified by citing intelligence that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. No such weapons were subsequently found.

U.S. District Judge Denny Chin dismissed the case in 2010, ruling that the complaint was frivolous and a product of "cynical delusion and fantasy." A three-judge panel of the 2nd Circuit upheld that decision, imposing $15,000 in sanctions on the three lawyers for filing the suit. All three appealed.

In requesting a rehearing, the lawyers asked the court to disqualify the three-judge panel "and any like-minded colleagues" from participating in the decision to grant review, accusing the panel of "severe bias, based in active personal emotions arising from the 9/11 attack."

But the 2nd Circuit took exception to the request, concluding no attorney would make such a demand in good faith.

The court upheld sanctions against Veale and Cunningham but reversed them against Ndanusa, who only served a minor role as local counsel. Ndanusa said all of the lawyers acted in good faith in bringing the lawsuit.

The court also ordered Cunningham, who described himself as "the decider" in developing the case, to inform other federal courts in circuit of the sanctions order for the next year.

"We are not delusional by any means. We have the facts, and they cannot be explained," said Veale, a former chief assistant public defender for Contra Costa County, California.

Cunningham did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

(Reporting By Terry Baynes; Editing by Cynthia Johnston)


http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/02/02/us-sept11-lawsuit-idUSTRE8112D820120202

Where Do These People Go to Law School?

http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_documents/0203_joe_madonna_docs.pdf

When Law School Gets Tough, Just Hire Someone

Pre-Law Legal Externship 3-4 hours a week (University of Arizona)
(Posted to Craigslist, 01-23-2012)


Interested in Law School?! Don't know if you're interested and want the Law School experience to see if it fits you? ! Want to start off Law School already knowing how to brief your cases, Ace your Finals, and manage your time?! Don't pay thousands of dollars for pre-law courses when you can have One on One mentoring with a current UA law student.

This is a Pre-Law Externship, meaning financial compensation is minimal, as the actual compensation comes in preparation for Law school through working with a current University of Arizona Law student.

Duties:
2-3 Hours a week (get as much as you put in). 

1. Preparation of case briefs:
Students will be assigned 5-10 cases a week in wich they can create custom case briefs (instructions on how to create case briefs will be given, and feedback on products created will be given to increase the student's legal analysis skills). This is actually quite easy, as there are sites that already provide the case briefs for the majority of cases. So for 90% of cases, this will simply entail searching google for "Case Name brief" and copying this into word. This allows the student to become familar with the style of Case Briefs, and saves the Graduate student time.

The law student assigned to the undergrad will be performing the required reading and case analysis, augmenting the case briefs provided by the undergrad, and walking the undergrad through the case briefs (both the intent and meaning of the case, as well as important factors that were missed and/or superfluous). 

2. Ocassional Lecture attendance - Student will on ocassion be allowed to attend special speaker presentations on innovative law concepts (such as the effects of judiciary discretion and polarization in politics). Students may also have the opportunity to sit in a real law class to see how the dynamics of the Socratic method teaching style plays out.

3. Coffee! A couple times a week, the student can treat themselves to a Free Starbucks coffee (paid for by the graduate student), by picking up a cup for themselves and the grad student and swinging by the law school before class. This time can also be used to review the case briefs and discuss any other questions the student may have. 

This mentoring program can be as versatile or as limited as the student wishes. Either meeting once a week to discuss case briefs and have coffee, or meeting a couple times a week to discuss law school preparation and study tips. 

4. Free class notes, outlines, and test prep form a previous law school student! Start off already having the tools to succeed!

This is an unofficial externship, not sponsored by the UA college of law, and thus is primarily compensated via the mentorship, preparation for law school, and free coffee. Those interested can respond to this post with:

Name.
Age
Major
Why you're interested in law.

Resume/acheivements is also a plus. 

Apply today to be light years ahead of your fellow law students when you start your new field!

If You Think Perception Doesn't Matter

Justice court’s lack of gavel leads to decertification talksBy Aaron Falk
The Salt Lake Tribune

For want of a gavel, a Utah justice court found itself momentarily on the brink of decertification.

The Utah Judicial Council on Monday morning gave the Heber Justice Court until the end of February to come into compliance with two rules, including one that mandates each justice court has a gavel.

The gavel is not required in district courts, but is required for the smaller municipal and justice courts because proceedings are often held in city council chambers or other spaces that don’t necessarily convey the characteristics of a courtroom, officials said.

"There are really only two things that make it clear you’re a judge," Assistant State Court Administrator Rick Schwermer said. "One is a robe and one is a gavel."

Contacted after the council’s decision Monday, Heber Justice Court Judge Randy Birch said the decertification talks were the result of an oversight.

Birch, who has sat on the bench for about 18 months, said he saw the gavel on a checklist of requirements when he applied for the court’s re-certification late last year, but didn’t think the absence of one would cause problems.

When he was informed otherwise by court officials, Birch said the city purchased a gavel from an Internet site but did not inform state administrators of the purchase prior to the council’s meeting.

"Lesson learned," Birch said. "We’ve fixed it."

The Heber Justice Court also was out of compliance because the court did not have a room set aside for witnesses and victims.

Birch said he has since made arrangements to use the mayor’s office for that purpose on days when court is held.

The Judicial Council on Monday also took action regarding other justice courts:

• The Hildale Justice Court was given until the end of May to have a new judge in place. The Utah Supreme Court in 2006 ousted Judge Walter Steed for engaging in a plural relationship with three women. Richard D. Carr was appointed as a temporary judge shortly after that, and has been serving in the same capacity ever since.

• The Parowan Justice Court was re-certified after being granted a waiver for being out of compliance with a rule that requires courts to have separate tables for defense and prosecution. Court officials said the single, 12-foot-long table being used is sufficient.


http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/53357391-78/court-justice-gavel-judge.html.csp

Work Backwards and Pay Attention!!

I Told You Never to Talk About Grades...

Letter from the Dean of the University of Chicago Law School to 1Ls:

Dear 1Ls:

Today will be the first time many of you have ever received a B or a C, because at some point after 3:30 you will receive the grades your professors gave your exams. The grades you receive are a reflection of what a professor thought of your exam and how much you were able to convey in one 3 hour or 8 hour period. Your grades are not a reflection of your worth as a lawyer, as a student, or anything else.

If you are thrilled with your grades, congratulations. Go home, pat yourself on the back, and remember that law school is like a pie eating contest. Only the prize for getting great grades is the same as the prize for getting lower grades: more pie. Take some time to whoop, call your non-Law School friends, and get back to work.

If you are disappointed with your grades, go home, take some time to be frustrated, and remember that law school is like a pie eating contest. Only the prize for getting lower grades is the same as the prize for great grades: more pie. Take some time to be disappointed, call your non-Law School friends, and get back to work.

If You Still Do Not Understand that a Demand Letter Requires a Real Legal Basis

Follow this conversation:
Should Lawyerist Cave to Trademark Bullying? (Poll)
http://lawyerist.com/lawyerist-trademark-bullying-poll/


Memo to SmallLaw: You Dont Own Small Law!
http://myshingle.com/2011/02/articles/myshingle-solo/memo-to-smalllaw-you-dont-own-small-law/

Do I Live in a Different World from Everyone Else?

A Miami Law Student Wants a ‘Student Bill of Rights.’ Really?
By Elie Mystal


Usually I’m happy to stand with law students against the slings and arrows of outrageous law school administration.

But not this time. This time, instead of a noble law student fighting the good fight, I see an annoying whiner who wants law school to be about teddy bears and rainbows.

A student at the University of Miami School of Law is trying to get the student body to adopt a “Student Bill of Rights.” The proposal lists a number of things that “shall not be violated.” Even though I agree with some of these points, codifying them as “rights” makes me flaccid. We’re talking about law school, not summer camp. It’s supposed to be hard. It’s not supposed to be fair.

We can condemn law schools until the cows come home for inducing students to sign up under false pretenses. But once you matriculate, law schools turn into the warden from Shawshank Redemption: “Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me.”

As a law student, you don’t have any rights….

Even the set-up for this “Bill of Rights” is vomitous. Listening to this kid wax poetic about “students’ rights” is like watching LeBron James take an hour to tell us where he’s going to play basketball.

And like LeBron, I kind of wish this kid would “take his talents” and shove them right back up his ass:

Over winter break [Redacted], a 2L here at UM law, came to me with a proposition — a proposition to reform the law school experience. You see, [Redacted] has been very dissatisfied with her legal education. She believes that the majority of her frustration comes from the fact that professors have a great deal of power over their students and students are not given much leverage in which to counteract that power, which leads professors to abuse their power which consequently produces an unpleasing classroom experience for students. In order to remedy this situation, [Redacted] sought of a way to empower students in the classroom in order to counteract/keep-in-check professor behavior. Hence, the Student Bill of Rights was born.

The Student Bill of Rights seeks to codify all legitimate concerns that students have involving their legal education. Once codified, these rights will be engrained [sic] into the legal education system, which will help raise awareness to professors that they must protect these rights and to students that they have the right to have these concerns respected. This will help establish equilibrium between professor and student rights, which will lead to a more enjoyable classroom experience for law students. While we understand that nothing will change over night we are eager to see the groundwork for a culture change to occur….

The student body will vote on the Student Bill of Rights in this month’s SBA election. It will be attached to the ballot as 
a referendum that hopefully will be added to the SBA Constitution and the Student Handbook.

Really? Really dude? You’re going to reform the law school experience? From Miami Law School? With a document?  Why don’t you try reforming your dating life, since you clearly have too much time on your hands?

Really. I mean really, you just said that students don’t have much leverage. So how does making a bill of rights really give them any more leverage? Because it’s been “codified” by other law students? Sounds like somebody doesn’t understand the concept of “enforcement powers.”

You really misspelled the word “ingrained.” Really? I make typos like I get paid for them (and I kinda do), and even Iwouldn’t make that kind of an error. Really, don’t try to bite my style, it’s harder than it looks. I mean, “ingrained” wasn’t even the word you were looking for in that sentence. No, really. You wanted to say something like “adopted” or “accepted” or “acknowledged,” and that’s just using words starting with the first letter of the alphabet. I really believe that there are at least three words per vowel that would make more sense there.

And I really don’t know who told you that the classroom experience was supposed to be “enjoyable,” but that person owes you money. Really. Really, dude. If class was supposed to be fun, they wouldn’t call it “class.” If you don’t like class so much, why don’t you just read Above the Law during class, like the rest of your friends? Really. You don’t need a bill of rights, you need a wireless internet connection.

I mean really, what is wrong with you?

Really? Miami Law students, if you vote for this thing I’ll shoot you on general principle.

CORRECTION: The version of the email I received did not reveal the gender of the person championing the Bill of Rights. I assumed it was a guy because it reeked of the bravado inspired by a Y-chromosome.

Turns out the “he” is a she. Really. I apologize for the error.